In The Depths Of The Hallows

Why did she feel so drawn to Mikel? It was as though she had imprinted on him instead of the other way around. She knew that all she had to do was speak his name and he could be with her in seconds, but she choose not to. Finding him was much more fun. Though she had to admit, he always came up with some really great hiding places.

So she wandered around, letting her feet take her where she needed to go. It was funny...as long as she didn't think about it, finding him was easy. Perhaps it was her heart that was so drawn to him...So that's what she did. And again, she found a rare moment. So often he knew she was there before she even had the chance to say anything, so when she got to catch him off guard it was a true delight.

Like a ghost, she quietly stood, almost hiding behind a tree. She was a little ways away from him. Her colorless eyes were watchful though, able to make out his finer details, despite the small amount of distance between them. She didn't know why she was intent on bothering him tonight though. Maybe because he'd been absent for some time now, and she found herself needing to solidify the fact that he was really here.

Idly she touched her imprint mark, much the way someone who wore a ring or a necklace played with it, without realizing it. She traced the mark that she'd stared at in the mirror so many times. Never had she questioned if letting him drink her blood was the right thing to do. She'd been happy to offer herself. "Always give freely, Angelica, never, ever second guess yourself. As long as your heart says it's okay, then let yourself be consumed by passion." That's what Nana had always said.

Tonight was nice. Despite the unusual and rather intense heat of the daylight hours, tonight had turned out to be rather pleasant, with a gentle breeze swaying the tree limbs above her. Her hair rustled, shifting in front of her face as the wind blew. She couldn't hear him very well, just a whisper of a word here or there, but her lips curled into a playful smile.

And he was so graceful, the way he moved. She never missed it, the way the earth around him almost bent to be sure he was unharmed. Although, she suspected that it was because of what he was. She couldn't help the small pang of jealously that resounded through her though. She was no where near that graceful.

Her crystal eyes shifted as he made contact with the ground, landing on his feet, like a cat. She dared not move though, unwilling to break the silence that suddenly stretched and filled the air. She gave herself the luxury of just watching, enjoying his company. She was sure by now that he knew she was here... after all...he was a Vampire.

He was really a true delight to watch. So graceful and dare she say elegant? And she was sure he knew she was there, so all that she allowed her to glimpse of him was like Christmas morning for her.

His declaration that the evil wouldn't bite made her stiffen and a frown tugged at her lips. Why did he insist that evil hung around him, floating above his head like a heavy storm cloud. Her back arched as she pushed herself away from the tree and stepped out from behind it to face him.

The smile that she gave him was contrite to say the least. She did feel guilty for seeking him out, but in her defense he hadn't told her not to come find him. Perhaps that had been implied though...

She took a few careful steps towards him, her colorless eyes reflecting the moonlight, her skin glowing, giving her an almost translucent look. "I'm sorry..." She whispered, feeling rather like an errant child. Of course...he hadn't exactly scolded her yet.

When she finally stood next to him, her eyes dropped to the jacket that lay on the rocks, before her face lifted back to look up at him. What else could she say besides she was sorry?

So she stood there, arms folded behind her back, looking up at him, chewing lightly on her bottom lip, hoping that he would go easy on her tonight.

She'd only seen Mikel in a flurry of emotion once, and she had not liked the outcome. The brief memory of the church filled her mind, and she wanted to shudder. She could still hear his cold laugh and taunting words. But she kept herself still, looking up at him, searching his face. Such a beautiful man he was. His eyes were inset though, and she could make-out the faint lines that said he hadn't been sleeping well. Or maybe it was the way the moon reflected off the water that gave him that tired look.

When he turned suddenly to look at her, crystal eyes widened in surprise. He looked so haunted like this and he was so quiet. Her lips turned up in an understanding smile, the unspoken bond that held between them unbroken. His cool hand wrapped around her arm and she felt her heart do a leap. He affected her so easily. She breathed in deep, trying to calm her rapid heart, wrinkling her nose at herself. His apology was very...unexpected? What had this man done to wrong her that he felt the need to apologize?

Her shoulders slumped as she calmed, his arms pulling her into him. This was from this point on, her favorite place to be. Circled in his arms like she was a prized possession, she relaxed, knowing she was safe here. She inhaled roughly the same time that he did, her eyes fluttering closed. Her arms snaked up and around him, holding him to her. He smelled heavenly, like the cold, crisp air that followed the first snow of winter. "I missed you..." she breathed, barely whispering.

She craned her neck slightly, allowing him any access to her neck that he wanted, her breathing slow and steady for the time being. The cold of his skin didn't phase her though, and again she marveled at how it felt to be the warmer one. Her eyes opened slowly and she brought her hands up, one sliding into his hair. It felt nice to hold onto him like his, and her fears were suddenly put to rest. He really was back.

She made a small noise of protest when he pulled away, but she let him go easily, her arms falling to her sides. She looked up at him, that familar, happy smile curling her lips. She really was just glad to have him home. And now that he was touching her, his hands rested lightly on her shoulders, and she could see, smell and hear him, she was visibly relieved. "Well enough, despite the unusual heat. I really missed you..." she told him, her hands sliding up to his arms, holding him still, reluctant to let him go now.

She had never wished that she could read someone’s mind so much in her life. She had thought that her face and smile would convey excitement and happiness at his return, but instead he seemed to think she was upset with him. That was simply just not true. Her eyebrows knitted together for a moment as she wondered what she could have done to make him think that.

But the question of what she did to make him think she was upset quickly disappeared. Her eyes widened with shock and happiness. Oh he had missed her! How lucky she was to have someone like Mikel miss her. She wanted to leap into his arms and kiss him, but she refrained, a light blush painting her pale face. She tilted her head, sending a few loose strands of white hair over her shoulders. Even as his fingers pulled away from her, the smile that curled her lips was uncontrollable.

She watched him quietly as he pulled on his jacket, her eyes slipping over his state of dress. He always looked so nice. She glanced down at her own clothes, a slight frown creasing her face suddenly. She was just in jean shorts and a tank top. It made her want to run back to her room and change into a pretty dress, but after a moment, her eyes lifted back to him. He really was Mr. Mood Swing today wasn’t he? One second ago he was smiling, and now he was scolding her.

She had the grace to blush again, her eyes averting away from him, a slow smile slipping over her pale lips. He was scolding her for being out so late, but when else could she enjoy the outside air? Of course…that wasn’t why she was out tonight. That caused her blush to brighten, but despite her sudden embarrassment for her reason out tonight, she turned to follow him. She had to take a few extra steps to catch up with him, but when she did she slipped her hand into his, needing the contact with him.

“I haven’t trained any more with Kouichi…not since you left.” She explained slowly, sneaking a glance up at him, before her eyes dropped back to the ground as she walked. “And I’m not upset with you…I just missed you. That’s why I came looking for you. How was home?” She was sure that’s where he’d been and since he came back, he hadn’t been the same. It worried her.

She tilted her head, watching his every move. Colorless eyes lifted, looking up at him as he stepped up to her. And she realized how scary he should have been to her in that moment. He towered over her, and he was infinitely stronger than she was. But she felt no fear at him. Her heart burned with the emotion and affection she felt towards him. So when he pushed his cool hands against the small of her back, she leaned into him, her arms coming up to his sides, holding him there. She knew that his words were sweet, even if they didn’t come out like that. Kouichi-san wasn’t a child though. Well…compared to Mikel, who was at least a hundred, he might be. But that wasn’t the way he’d meant it, and she knew it. Goosebumps rose over her skin though. The mark was sensitive under his lips.

When he pulled away, and his arms slackened around her some, she chewed her bottom lip, lost in observation of this man. But her hands moved with his, a smile pulling at her lips now. She caressed his face gently, her eyes widening some. He was being strangely cryptic, and while her heart always beat heavily around him, it had her body working double-time to keep up. And then his eyes opened, and she was struck, in complete awe of the man in front of her. She didn’t see the Vampire. She saw the man, with raw emotion in his eyes. She felt her breath leave her, and she wanted to hold him and soothe away his worries. What danger? Her mind was reeling. What danger was there to either of them here, at Caislin? She finally inhaled when his eyes closed again, and she found that she hadn’t missed the breath all that much. Not when it allowed her to gaze into the very soul of the man in front of her.

She watched with fascination as he pulled his face from her hands, which he still held around the wrists, his cold touch welcome against her skin. What was wrong with her Mikel? He’d never acted this way before, and she had to admit that it was beginning to scare her. What sacrifices would need to be made? And suddenly, she felt protective of him, as though she could defend him from whatever was coming. She pushed her hands into his chest lightly, holding them there even when he let go of her. Gently, and with such care, like a cool breeze, his hands came to cup her face, and she closed her eyes, nuzzling both hands softly, enjoying the way his hands felt against her face. But from what he said…whatever it was came after her; seeking her. And that worried her. Was it his family that sought her out, wanting to change her? Mikel didn’t seem to want to transform her though.

Her head tilted slightly, and her eyes opened widely, gazing up at him, the coldness of his hands fading as he pulled his jacket off and slung it around her shoulders. This forced her hands away from his chest, but she found that being surrounded by his smell was just as comforting. She would have to remember to take one of his shirts when she got a chance. Confusion clouded her clear eyes. “Mikel…” she whispered, as though she didn’t understand. And truly, she didn’t. Her heart hammered harder in her chest, and she held her breath gazing into those lifeless eyes. “Mikel, Kouichi-san is my brother, not only in ability, but feelings too. He would never harm me. I ask that you please not harm him. Just like losing you would cause me unbearable, heart-breaking pain, losing him would hurt me as well.” She explained, pushing her arms through the sleeves of the jacket and reaching up to hold his face again, the extra material falling back and bunching over her wrists. “Now please tell me why we must stray from prying eyes…what danger lurks that has you so afraid for my life?”

It had never really occurred to her that her touch might be too much for him. Especially in the way that Kouichi’s touch was almost too much for her. And she felt the burning pain seeping into his skin just as much as he did, but for her, it felt every bit like she remembered frostbite felt. The cold burn singed her hand, her eyebrows knitted together. What was happening? It had never burned to touch him before. So why did it burn now? She dropped her hand away from his face, her own look of pain contorted her face. She worked quickly to mask it though, not wanting him to think that he caused her any pain, lest he disappear into the night without a second word, again.

Her eyes locked on the mark now, forcing herself to look over the wound that she’d inflicted on him with just a simple touch. Perhaps she should just walk around with gloves all the time and never touch anyone. The thought was depressing. To never be able to touch Mikel, to never be able to feel the contact of skin, one of the many sensations that kept her feeling normal. She could easily recall how people had treated her before, the cruel words that they’d said, and the way they had strayed from her touch. It had gotten so bad that she’d even been afraid to walk through the halls at school, lest she accidentally touch someone and scare them.

She listened intently, though his words should have left marks against her skin. Did he not question why she wanted to become like him? She couldn’t recall him ever asking, and though she would have told him before he left for Paris, she had been denied the opportunity. The long months of waiting and hoping for him to return had only strengthened the affections she felt for him. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” They always said. But apparently he hadn’t felt the same way. Perhaps he’d been happy in his time without her, and who could blame him? She was hardly anywhere close to his level of intellect, strength or understanding. She couldn’t even be considered a match, not even when it came to their clothes. She pulled his jacket tightly around her, relishing the feel and smell again, before a sigh escaped her lips.

Her head dropped now, and she stared at the ground, unable to look up at him now. It hurt to think that these feelings had been one-sided. That the moment they had shared in the nurse’s office, where she had offered her own life’s blood, and he accepted, had been completely platonic. The memory of the cold pool, where he’d kissed her for the first time was just as painful and in a moment, she felt true shame. She was just a child from Pennsylvania when it came to him, she didn’t even possess the proper curves of a real woman. So this was what it came to? Another refusal? At least she understood better this time, that his feelings weren’t the same for her.

And it hurt. She could feel the ache in her chest grow and grow until it felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore. The mark on her skin burned, searing her to the bone with an unfamiliar pain. And it was in this moment that she knew she had to do something. She simply could not allow him to treat her like this. And she wouldn’t.
“Michael Morrigan, I am not some child that you can dictate to. If you wish to end this relationship with me, whatever it is, then you must say so. I desire to be like you, because I want to be with you always. I am, and have been in love with you since that day in the cafeteria. You would know that, had you said goodbye to me when you left for Paris, because I would have told you; and understood that I couldn’t come along, because of the nature of the business. But you’ve been gone for four months, and you come back here, scolding me for wanting to be with you?”

She took a few steps forward so that she was relatively close behind him. “This mark on my shoulder…” she undid the buttons on his jacket and let it fall with a grace and poise that she didn’t know she possessed, revealing the mark. “means something to me. And if it doesn’t to you, then that’s just fine. But I no longer find this game cute or appealing. I should like to have the knowledge of the way you feel about me, this instant or so help me, you’ll have more than just frost in your hair.” It was a threat in a voice that was very much not like her.

Perhaps it was the time of cruel teasing she’d endured that made her so demanding in this instant, or maybe it was the way her heart was breaking. She’d never been so demanding in her whole life, and she had to admit, that she felt better for being able to face this head on. But she wasn’t sure how he’d take it, so she swallowed hard, and stood there, staring at him, biting her tongue to assure herself that if pain was indeed to come of this, that she would be ready, be it mental, physical…or even emotional.

She could feel her heart hammer in chest as she waited for him to either make or break her. She reflected sadly that it came down to this...waiting for him to either confess love or tell her to get lost. It was a terrible place to be. And the moments dragged by...feeling like hours. Each second felt like a lifetime as she waited for him.

And finally, when his voice rang out, she thought that relief would flood her. But it was only dread. And fear. It ran thick as honey through her veins. And about Kouichi-san, no less. What was it with the two of them? Why couldn't they get along? They both shared a similar interest. And it dawned on her that Kouichi hadn't spoken a word about Mikel during his absence. He had comforted her, and even helped dry her tears, but he never spoke an ill word about him to her.

So what was it with Mikel? Why did he detest him so much? She narrowed her eyes on him, only half listening as she tried to figure this out. Did Kouichi hate Mikel because he thought Mikel was a monster? And Mikel hated Kouichi because he thought that's what Kouichi thought? It was all so confusing! She wished she had a pen and paper to take notes.

Her crystal eyes never moved from him, her lips set into a firm line as she continued her inner monologue, attempting to understand things. And she was fairly lost in thought, it was no wonder she nearly fell over when Mikel flashed in front of her, barely inches away from her.

Her concentration snapped, and suddenly she was paying better attention to him than she was her own thudding heart. She swallowed hard, her lips parting with each breath she inhaled and exhaled, her fingers curling into balls. So he wasn't here to be threatened. And then it dawned on her... "I love you Lillith, more than I loved my wife..."

So he did have feelings for her, deep ones at that. She felt stunned, like her heart had stopped beating...like the world had stopped turning. Joy blossomed in her as she thought about those moments that they shared together, that things hadn't been one sided. That he'd felt them too. And while it made sense...his reasoning did, she couldn't get past the Kouichi-san thing.

She blinked, realizing that he was no longer standing before her, but on his knees, pressing his cheek to her thigh. "Oh..." she breathed, looking down at him as though she were confused. His declaration of love had been just what she wanted to hear, but there was still a sadness that hung over her. Perhaps she shouldn't have pushed this. Maybe pushing him to admit his feelings had been the wrong thing to do.

The cold burn of frostbite bit into her skin, and she struggled a little, the pain unfamiliar and unexpected. Why was he doing this? She stared down at him, her breath scarcely moving her chest up and down, locked in pain and want, confusion and clarity all at once. She had the deeper insight that she had desired, but at what price?

"Mikel...I love you too. But..." she trailed off for a moment, thinking of what to say. Words like this didn't come easily. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she had to swallow past the large lump in her throat. "I cannot be with a man who hates my kin. In your absence, Kouichi spoke not an ill word of you. He dried my tears, lightened my mood, helped me even. I love you both...but choosing would kill me. And while I thank you for thinking of my well being by not turning me, your words have made my heart heavy with a sadness I did not know I could feel twice in a lifetime." Tears dripped down her face now, turning into little droplets of ice as they fell from her chin.

"He means a great deal to me...he was the only other person, aside from Nana who accepted me for who I am, and called me family. How can I turn my back on that?" she ask him softly, barely whispering the words. "Thank you for opening my eyes to this." she whispered. "My love for you has grown until my heart and soul are overflowing with it. But you must make amends, put this hatred that taints your thoughts and actions behind you...then and only then will I be able to fully give myself to you. Heart, body, and spirit." she explained, more tears turned to ice drops as she closed her eyes.

Why did it have to be like this? Why must he make her choose? The relationship that they had was a good one. The edges of it were tinged with sadness and misunderstanding. But all in all, it was well formed. They had a decent give and take. Just as she and Kouichi had.

She felt the weight of her words as they settled on her shoulders. She could feel the pain in her heart. Tears rolled down her cheeks, dropping off from her chin, turning into little crystal tear drops before they shattered on the ground. And even though there was fresh pain lacing through her...she wasn't sure where it radiated from. Was it her shoulder? Or was it her heart?

Her eyes opened and she stared at him, watching him literally fall apart. Watching as pieces dropped off of him. It must be what was happening to her on the inside, since she felt her heart breaking. She had known that this wouldn't be easy...that those words would bring them both pain. But she hadn't expected this.

More tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision, as he spoke. Of course he had given her everything. He had loved her, though she would admit that he had strange ways of showing it. And happiness had filled her until she couldn't think of an unhappy moment. Her lips parted, and her body frozen, she cried, forced to listen to him.

She wished she could rewind time, and then watch it all play out so she could better understand. "Mikel...no.." she breathed, finally able to speak. Her hand came up, her whole body numb, to cover her mark, and she shook her head.

Her mark would fade? Disappear? Be like it had never happened? If only her heart could forget this ever happened. And surely this couldn't be right...it hurt far too much to be right. She felt wounded, like he'd stuck a dagger in, twisted it around, and then poured poison into the wound. But this was hardly his doing.

Hadn't she been the one to say that she couldn't bare their fighting? That she couldn't be with a man who hated her kin? It was her hand that held the dagger, and hers that twisted it. He may have added the poison that was truth, but all in all, it was her own problem.

She watched him walk away for a moment, locked in this state of pain and torture that curled through her. Her shoulder burned, her heart felt as though it were in pieces, and her head felt painfully full with all the sudden knowledge that had been bestowed on her.

"Mikel..no.." she whispered again, and her feet were moving of their own accord. She ran now, ran after him, grabbed the his arm and held on tightly. "No..no...please...I can't. I can't bare for you to leave me again. Please Mikel...please..." she begged him. Her hands held tightly to him, squeezing his arm, pleading with him and her own sanity to stay. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." she sobbed now, like a child.

Clop, clop, clop. In the epicenter, Kouichi stood. His hands lifted in front of his chest, clapping silently. At the end of the bridge, he stood. Like an obstacle. Across the bridge from the two. "Oh, bravo... Good show!" He chuckled. His gaze hidden in shadows by the closed lids over his eyes. He wore a simple tee shirt. Accompanied by blue jeans. Lacking his jacket, and swords. Once his presence was revealed, his hands lifted over his head. "I come in peace. Unarmed." Taking a step closer to the two, he spun on the heel of his sandal. Showing he held no equipment. His hair was spiked up and blocked off by a bandanna. Kanji that translated into Big Brother sprawled across the fabric on his forehead.

His lips curled into a smile. His head tilting as he realized the distance between Angelica and the vampire. "Oh this is no good." He shrugged and stepped closer once more. "I was always under the impression that you western gentleman were 'civilized', I think the word would be..." His head leaned back, and an index finger pressed to his chin. "Yes, because we of the east are savages. Wasn't that right?" He asked Mikel. His voice was sarcastic at best. Like he was mocking every westerner. Stopping ten paces from the separated two.

His gaze turning to Angelica, then lifted to the sky above. Back down to Mikel who was now in focus. The sight was almost enough to change Kouichi's bright expression. "Racist comments aside..." He said from the safe distance he held. Watching the vampire. "You're looking a bit roughed up, would a quick meal help?" His head tilted and his smile dissolved into a frown. From his safe spot, disconnected from the others, Kouichi offered his left wrist. Trying to be friendly at least. "It'd be a shame if my dear sister's beloved were to rot away."

She'd never felt more desperate in all her life. Like she was barely hanging onto life by a thread. It felt like she was dangling over the bridge that was her life, and falling meant death. She didn't want the mark to fade. She didn't want to let him go. This hadn't been what was supposed to happen.

But she couldn't stop it. Just like she couldn't stop him. Or Kouichi from showing up. The sight of him barely registered though. His blonde hair and lack of swords was what caught her attention. And for a moment, she allowed herself to look away from Mikel and to the man she could swear was her kin. Her eyes locked on him, and for a moment she felt the most terrible shock of fear for him. He was unarmed? Why? Kouichi never went anywhere without his swords.

She fell when Mikel jerked his arm away from her, landing rather ungracefully in a heap on the ground. She sat up, her eyes moving between Kouichi and Mikel. But she didn't hear the words either of them spoke. The world seem to drown around her, fade away almost. She couldn't even feel her heart beating anymore. Or the ground under her.

She watched as Mikel stalked closer to Kouichi. Her head tilted, like a child who didn't understand. Was this the breaking point? Was Mikel so furious and upset with her that he would kill Kouichi out of spite? She stared, not really seeing the two of them, but seeing nothing else at the same time. Her eyes were unfocused...watching them.

Her shoulder burned again, the intense feeling cutting through the numbness that she tucked herself away into. This must be the bond beginning to break. This only brought more tears to her eyes...not because of the physical pain, but the emotional pain that began to torture her internally again.

When Mikel left her sight, she pulled his jacket tighter around her, more tears spilling down her face. She could still smell him, she could still remember how it felt to have his lips pressed against her skin, to feel loved, and wanted, and needed. She had effectively destroyed that...and herself for that matter.

She could tell he was gone, even without looking. And after a moment, her eyes refocused on Kouichi and she sobbed out loud, sniffling as the tears traced new paths down her face. She didn't even bother to wipe them away before they fell into little crystallized tear drops on her lap.